YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
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and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
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The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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