Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
