ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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