I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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