Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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