And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
