Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
