Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
