dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
