with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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