brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
