So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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