I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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