If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
