I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
