It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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