But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
