Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How does one acquire holy water?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
