Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
