Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
