Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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