but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
