Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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