If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
