you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
