Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
