Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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