I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
