dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
