What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
