So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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