Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
