My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
