Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
