Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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