Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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