I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Me too!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
