You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
