i just wanna soil my oats bro
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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