Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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