I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Someone came in the potted fern
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
