so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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