Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
