never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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