guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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