Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
