these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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