they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
