hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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