i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
