I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
