i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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