Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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