I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
