and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
