Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
