I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
