Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
