i just wanna soil my oats bro
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
