ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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