just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
