when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
